Shoes, Honking Horns and the Loud Send Off

Shoes represented the transfer of property from the Father to the Groom.
The honking of horns of the tying of cans had it’s roots in the notion that loud noises would scare off evil spirits. Originally it was to protect the innocent young maiden when traveling. Ringing of bells or setting off firecrackers are still other ways of this tradition is still being carried out. The ringing of bells however is done more often as an announcement of the marriage than is a superstitious act to ward off evil spirits.

The kiss was used to bind a legal agreement.
It originated with the Romans and was adopted much later by Christians.
It symbolizes a couples union and signifies the commitment they have made to one another.

The bride tosses her bouquet over her shoulder to the assembled unmarried women; the woman who catches it, superstition has it, will be the next to marry. In some social groups, the process is repeated for unmarried men with the groom tossing the bride's garter for the same purpose. These practices are falling into less favor in the 21st century.

Originally the bouquet was given by the bride to one of her friends for good luck or protection. It has come to signify the transfer of luck in marriage or luck in being the next to marry. It is tossed on the departure of the bride and groom at the end of the wedding celebration. It marks the transition from being a single woman to being part of couple. The woman who catches the bouquet will be the next to marry.

The first wedding bouquets carried were not of blossoms but of herbs. The aroma of the herbs were though to ward off evil spirits. Later meanings became associated with the meanings of the different herbs. Rosemary signified remembrance. Other herbs such as dill were included to evoke lust and were meant to be eaten by the bride. Flowers were added. Like the herbs each flower had a special meaning or significance. Here are a few flowers and their general meanings.

Today a bride will often choose the flowers for her bouquet based on the traditional meaning of the flower.

To some culture, rice symbolizes, wealth and fertility.

Tossing rice, birdseed or confetti is used to wish the newly married couple a large harvest, abundance in life or many children.

Today many churches do not allow the throwing of these materials for safety or environmental reasons, as a result, a new tradition has emerged; blowing bubbles.

Although many see no harm in the bubbles, their are churches and reception facilities who do not allow this gesture as well. Please check to be sure beforehand.

Rice is sometimes thrown at the newlyweds as they leave the ceremony to symbolize fertility. Some individuals, churches or communities choose birdseed due to a false but widely believed myth that birds eating the rice will burst.

Below is a guide i found from 'somewhere'. The reason I post it here is so that you know where the tradition comes from and why it's being practiced. I'm not asking you to do everything that's said.

As a Christian, you glean what is your conviction to do since you know that you live in the will of a loving GOD and is not subject to the wiles and fear.

Chinese Wedding Customs and Rituals Before the Wedding

Proposal & Betrothal

In Chinese Culture, a marriage is considered the joining of two families. Thus the parents of the bride's and groom's get involved in their wedding planning from very early on. Two families pick an auspicious date as the Betrothal Day. This is a formal meeting between the parents of the perspective bride and groom.

The groom's family presents various proposal gifts that represents fertility and prosperity in Chinese culture, which is also known as "Grand Gift" or "Guo Da Li".

All gifts should come in even numbers, meaning "good things double" in Chinese culture. Thus, the two are considered officially engaged.

Chinese Wedding Cakes
After the betrothal meeting, both families will make wedding announcement to their relatives and friends by sending out "Double Happiness Cakes" along with wedding invitations. This is the Chinese style wedding cakes also known as "Dragon & Phoenix Cakes". These are baked cake with dragon and phoenix imprint on the surface. Some styles have fillings made of lotus seed paste, red bean paste or green bean paste.

The wedding cakes are usually presented to the bride's family by the groom's family as part of the proposal gift. Bride's family will then present some of the cakes to worship their ancestors and send the rest of cakes to friends and relatives along with wedding invitations. Quantity of cakes to be sent depends on seniority of guest or relationship with the family. Nowadays, the wedding cakes are usually served to the guests at the wedding instead of the western style wedding cakes.

Chinese Wedding Dowry
The bride's family then prepares dowry and give a list of the dowries to the groom's family. Dowry is mostly composed of daily necessities for the new home, such as bedding, linen and dining set, etc.

In the old Chinese culture, girls start learning needle work at young age, and prepare plenty of shoes, socks, table cloth etc, as part of her dowry. This is also an opportunity for the bride's family to display their love for their daughter as well as their wealth.

Bridal Bed Setting (An Chuang) Ritual.
A few days before the wedding, the bride's family send dowry to the groom's family, or the couple's new home nowadays. The groom's family will invite a respected female relative or friend to "set the bridal bed" at the new home.

In some part of China in the old days, a unmarried young boy will be invited to sleep in the bridal bed the night before the wedding to bring fertility to the newlyweds.

Chinese Wedding Decorations
The two families decorates the bridal house and the reception site for the upcoming wedding ceremony. Lots of lively colors, red in particular, is used in Chinese wedding decoration. Red banners used for wedding is called "happiness banners", which is an essential part of the wedding decorations. It's decorated on both sides of the doors of the newlywed's home and the reception site. The Chinese writing on the banners are rhythmic poem praising the adorable couple and the perfect marriage.

Papercut of Double Happiness, dragon and phoenix are widely used at Chinese wedding.

Wedding Day Ceremony
In the morning of the wedding day, "hair dressing" (Shang Tou) ritual is performed for the bride. A "good luck woman", woman with living parents, spouse and children, will come to help dressing up the bride's hair. The woman should also say auspicious words while tying up her hair in a bun, a style of married woman. The groom's family perform "capping" (Jia Guan) ritual for the groom at their home. These rituals in Chinese culture symbolize that they are entering adulthood.

Chinese Wedding Door Game
Then the groom sets out to the bride's home, and he will inevitably be blocked at her door by her friends, and the bridesmaids will play door game with the groom and his attendants.

Door game originated from ancient time which implies that the bride is a lovely girl and her family and friends do not want to marry her away. The groom will be blocked at the bride's door, and her friends will try to stop him from entering by asking questions about the bride, a way to test if he really cares about her. They may also do other tricks to delay the bride's leaving. The groom will try to buy his way in by presenting "Li Shi", token money wrapped in red envelops. Door game is a joyous and good-natured "bargain" game essential in Chinese wedding.

When the bride finally goes out to ascend the car, a bridesmaid will hold a red umbrella over her head, meaning "raise the bark, spread the leaves." Other relatives will scatter rice, red bean and green bean on her. The red umbrella protects the bride from evil spirit, and the rice and beans are to attract the attention of the gold chicken.

When the bridal sedan, equivalent of motorcade nowadays, arrives the groom's home, firecrackers and music with gongs and drums greets the bride. The bride will leap over a iron basin with lit charcoal inside. It is a ritual to bring prosperity and keep evils away.

Chinese Wedding Tea Ceremony
Then at the official ritual that equals to the wedding vow in western wedding, the newlyweds kneel three times, to the heaven and earth, to the ancestral tablets and their parents, then to each other. The kneeling part has been replaced with bowing in modern Chinese wedding. The bride then present tea to the parents and relatives in sequence of seniority. Those who receive the tea usually give the bride gifts such as jewelry or Li Shi money wrapped in red envelope. Thus it's the end of the ritual and the wedding proceeds to the banquet venue.

Chinese Wedding Food
Certain types of food are commonly served at the Chinese wedding banquet, which include fish, roast suckling pig, pigeon, chicken cooked with red oil, lobster and desert bun with lotus seeds stuffed inside.

The pronunciation of fish is the same as "abundance", meaning the newlyweds will have plentiful of wealth. Roast suckling pig is usually served whole, a symbol of the bride's purity (virginity). Pigeon implies peaceful future. Chicken also means phoenix, cooked in red oil to symbolize the wish for a prosperous life ahead for the newlyweds. Lobster is literally called "dragon shrimp" in Chinese. Having lobster and chicken together at wedding banquet indicates that the dragon and the phoenix are hormones together, and the Yin and Yang elements in this family is balanced.

Most oriental caterers can give you an idea of the menu.

Chinese Wedding Dress
The color red is considered good luck, a strong color that can drive away evil spirits. The traditional Chinese wedding dress in northern China usually is one-piece frock named Qi Pao, embroidered with elaborate gold and silver designs. Brides from southern China usually wear two-piece dress named Qun Gua, Kwa or Cheongsam, also elaborately adorned with golden phoenix and dragon.

In the old days, a piece of red veil is part of the bride's costume to cover her face during the wedding ceremony. Newlyweds would see each other's face for the first time in their lives at their wedding night.

In modern Chinese wedding, the bride changes dresses at least 3 times at the wedding day. She would start with western style white wedding gown for a church for civil ceremony. Then at the tea ceremony, she would change to traditional Chinese bridal dress, which she will wear to the reception too. Before the end of the banquet, she would change into a cocktail dress, and great the guests, and then see them off at the door, thus this dress is also called "Song Ke" (See Guests Off) dress.

Chinese Wedding Night Ritual
The night of the wedding, the bridal room will lit dragon and phoenix candle to drive away the evil spirit. This is a Chinese version of unity candle. The newlyweds will drink wine from two cups tied together with a red string, arms crossed from each other. This is the formal wedding vow in Chinese culture. Then the bride will be offered dumplings that's boiled half-raw. The pronunciation of "raw" is the same as giving birth to children, a indication of family prosperity.

Post-wedding Customs
The next morning of the wedding, the bride should get up early and make a meal for the groom's family to demonstrate that she is well-nurtured. Three days after the wedding, the groom and bride will go back to visit the bride's parents.

Do you know where the ideas for favors at the wedding came from? I don't think anyone has pinpointed where they came from for sure, however, they have become common tradition at most weddings you see now days. Here are a few traditions that you might find fun and interesting:

• Jordan almonds, a favorite at most weddings, are centered on Middle Eastern weddings. This favor dictates that you give 5 pieces to each guest to represent the five wedding wishes: fertility, health, wealth, happiness and longevity. The almond is candy coated representing the bitter and the sweet of marriage.
• Decorated eggs are a symbol of fertility for the couple with this Malaysian tradition.
• Glass charms in the shape of an eye were given on the couples wedding day in this Greek tradition to protect them from bad luck.
• "Bridal Sugar" is a Dutch favor tradition. It is given in sets of 5 cubes to represent: prosperity, virility, happiness, loyalty and of course love!
• In the Victorian Era, "party crackers" were very popular.

When considering the favors for your wedding, keep in mind that they should reflect you as a couple. These could be based on culture, religion, personality, or a mutual hobby.

Tea is used because it is China's national drink and serving it is a sign of respect. Using tea is practical because not everyone can drink alcohol. Lotus seeds and two red dates are used in the tea for two reasons.

First, the words "lotus" and "year," "seed" and "child," and "date" and "early," are homophones, i.e. they have the same sound but different meanings in Chinese.

Secondly, the ancient Chinese believed that putting these items in the tea would help the newlyweds produce children early in their marriage and every year, which would ensure many grandchildren for their parents. Also, the sweetness of the special tea is a wish for sweet relations between the bride and her new family.

On the wedding day, the bride serves tea (holding the teacup with both hands) to her parents at home before the groom arrives. She does this out of respect and to thank her parents for raising her. The tea at this time does not need to have the lotus seeds or dates, and the bride does not need the assistance of a "lucky woman." She pours and serves the tea by herself without the groom. Traditionally, after the wedding ceremony, the newlyweds serve tea (holding the teacups with both hands), inviting the groom's elders to drink tea by addressing them by formal title, e.g. first uncle or third aunt.

The general rule is to have the woman on the left side and the man on the right side. The people being served will sit in chairs, while the bride and groom kneel. For example, when the newlyweds serve tea to the groom's parents, the bride would kneel in front of her father-in-law, while the groom would kneels in front of his mother. The newlyweds serve tea in order, starting with the groom's parents then proceeding from the oldest family members to the youngest, e.g. the groom's parents, then his paternal grandparents, then his maternal grandparents, then his oldest uncles and aunts, and all the way to his older brother.

In return, the newlyweds receive lucky red envelopes ("lai see," which means "lucky") stuffed with money or jewelry.

Personally, i feel this is just a brilliant way for a new member to be introduced to the family and relatives because they will be intorduced formally during the tea ceremony! a definite stroke of brilliance for the chinese!

In ancient times, the Teutonic people began the practice of the honeymoon. Teutonic weddings were only held under the full moon. After the wedding, the bride and groom would drink honey wine for one full moon cycle (thirty days).

This "moon" (i.e., "month") became known as the "honey moon."

While the name survived, the purpose of the honeymoon changed. After the wedding, newlyweds would leave their family and friends to go and do what newlyweds are supposed to do.

Today that purpose survives, only now a vacation is incorporated, usually to a romantic get-away locale.

In biblical days, blue (not white) represented purity, and the bride and groom would wear a blue band around the bottom of their wedding attire (hence "something blue").

The Greeks are often associated with white for the wedding dress - they used white robes to symbolize youth, joy and purity. Despite this, white wedding dresses have not always been the fashion.

In the Middle Ages the white wedding dress was once again made popular by Anne of Brittany, in 1499 -- they were again supposed to symbolize virginity.

Today, white is an ever-popular color but pastel shades, stronger colors and even tartars are also worn.

The veil originally symbolized the bride's virginity, innocence, and modesty.

The veil can be traced back to Roman times when it was a complete head to toe cover (that was later used as her burial shroud!). This symbolism has been lost over the years but the veil is still customarily worn.

In some Middle Eastern and Asian cultures, the veil was worn to hide the bride's face completely from the groom who had never seen her. Only after they were married would the groom be allowed the lift the veil to see his new wife's face.

In old times, female children were deemed to be the property of their fathers. When it came time for the daughter to marry and her father approved of the arrangement, he was actually transferring ownership of his daughter to the groom.

Today, the act of giving the bride away is symbolic of her parents' blessing of the marriage to the chosen groom.

For centuries the wedding or engagement ring has graced the second finger of the left hand.
This traditional goes all the way back to the time of the Egyptians.
They believed that a vein ran directly from the 2nd finger to the heart.

The Wedding Cake was originally lots of little wheat cakes that were broken over the Bride's head to bestow good luck and fertility.

Today's three tier Wedding Cake is based on the unusual shape of the spire of Saint Bride's Church in London.

Traditionally the newly-weds should make the first cut to signify sharing their life. Every guest than eats a crumb to ensure good luck. And sleeping with a piece under her pillow is said to make a single woman dream of her future husband.

White has been a symbol of celebration since Roman times.
In other cultures such as Asian cultures red is the color traditional color because it symbolizes joy.

White in our culture has also come to be synonymous with purity and joy. This is why it has become a favorite color of brides.

Tips For A White Wedding

1. Wear everything in the crispest, brightest white with irridescent jewels to add sparkle
2. Plan all the decorations in white, cream or ivory. Be very careful mixing shades of white. If one is darker than the rest it would appear dingy by comparison
3. Add large white bows to the reception decorations
4. Use white candles
5. Use silver accents as opposed to other metallics such as gold. Silver tends to compliment white much better without any harsh contrast.
6. Use low voltage clear twinkling lights on topiary trees, head table, wedding arch and ceiling fabric drapings.

Traditionally, Chinese families often make it a point to announce the upcoming nuptials of their children to relatives and friends by distributing bridal cakes. In fact, it is the bride's family that makes such an announcement with the bridal cakes they received as part of the betrothal gifts from the groom's family. This is customary not only as a means to give notice to kin of the impending nuptials but also as an invitation to the wedding feast.

What is different however, is how the bridal cakes are now packaged. In keeping with modern times, they are now packaged with much style and aplomb. Not only are the contents important, emphasis is also placed on the way the cakes are presented. Indeed, couples are increasingly taking greater interest in such matters that were previously the domain of parents.

When deciding on bridal cakes, do take the following into account :

• Make a list of relatives and friends who are to receive the cakes.
• Order a small quantity as 'extras' in case some names have been left out of your original list.
• Have a taste of what is on offer and select the ones that you personally enjoy.
• Review the various packaging options and choose the one that best reflects your style preferences.
• Be prepared to listen to the service provider's advice as well.