me and weddings...

welcome

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i just love weddings.

seeing two person in love committing to each other in front of God and witnesses. it takes honor, love and courage. and in helping them coordinate their weddings, i hope that it will lessen their stresses and give them the space to enjoy their wedding day. too many times, i've seen couples who'd missed the significance of a marriage ceremony and passed it off merely as another routine in life where in actual fact, every act is a symbol of their love and honor to each other. it should not be projected as any less than it is.

I've set up this blog after going through my typical research across google and compiled a set of 'everything' that i feel is safe for a christian context and also bringing light to 'everything' regarding weddings.

Everything from here are a mixture from compilation, experience, reading through many sites. MY APOLOGIES if there are no references to where I've gotten the info as everything was collected over the years from too many sources to be able to trace back.

This blog will also serve as the central for weddings happening in Eaglepoint since I'm the church's wedding liaison person. If you need a coordinator, you can contact me.

Lastly, congratulations on your upcoming wedding!

What is involved in a wedding?

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From experience and from research, below are the main things involved in the budget of a typical wedding:

1. Tradition formality - every culture has its own set of tradition practices, from dowry to gifts exchange
2. Ceremony - whether at church or at a hall
3. Reception - usually there's a reception after the ceremony
4. Banquet/Dinner
5. Bride + Groom's attire and adornments
6. Pre-wedding Beauty Indulgences
7. Bridal Attendants' garbs and such
8. Florist & Deco
9. Cakes & Such
10. Stationeries
11. Photography & Videography
12. Gifts, Tokens or Favours
13. Honeymoon arrangements
14. Marriage registration
14. Miscellaneous - transportation, change of home, bedroom decoration and anything

If you've covered all the above, rest assured you're insured for a successful wedding.

The first thing any couple needs to do after marriage proposal, would be to sit down together and chart out the budget.

As the coordinator, I would first, present them with the budget list and get them to chart it first before start on any of the above.

This blog can only serve theoretically and for your information only. In order to get the full experience of everything, you would need to check with me personally.

You can explore each of the category above from the side bar.

bridesmaids

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The bridesmaids are members of the bride's wedding party in a wedding. A bridesmaid is typically a young woman, and often a close friend or sister. She attends to the bride on the day of a wedding or marriage ceremony. Traditionally, bridesmaids were chosen from unwed young women of marriageable age.

The principal bridesmaid, if one is so designated, may be called the chief bridesmaid or maid of honor if she is unmarried, or the matron of honor if she is married. A junior bridesmaid is a girl who is clearly too young to be marriageable, but who is included as an honorary bridesmaid.
Often there is more than one bridesmaid: in modern times the bride chooses how many to ask.

Historically, no person of status went out unattended, and the size of the retinue was closely calculated to be appropriate to the family's social status. Then, as now, a large group of bridesmaids provided an opportunity for showing off the family's social status and wealth.
The required duties of bridesmaids are very limited. They are required to attend the wedding ceremony and to assist the bride on the day of the wedding. Bridesmaids in Europe and North America are often asked to assist the bride with planning the wedding and a wedding reception. In modern times, a bridesmaid is also typically asked to play a role in planning wedding-related events, such as a bridal shower or bachelorette party, if there are any.

These, however, are optional activities; according to etiquette expert Judith Martin, "Contrary to rumor, bridesmaids are not obliged to entertain in honor of the bride, nor to wear dresses they cannot afford." If it is customary in the bride's area to have a bridesmaids luncheon, then it is hosted, and therefore organized and paid for, by the bride. A junior bridesmaid has no responsibilities beyond attending the wedding.

Since modern bridesmaids, unlike their historical counterparts, can no longer rely on having their clothes and travel expenses paid for by the bride's family, and are sometimes even assessed fees to pay for parties that the bride wants to have before the wedding, it has become customary for the bride to present the bridesmaids with gifts as a sign of gratitude for the support and financial commitment that comes with their roles. It has become equally customary for wary women who are invited to serve as bridesmaids to first ask after the amount of time, energy, and money that the bride intends before accepting this position.

Historically, bridesmaids were usual in Saxon England. The senior of them had personally to attend the bride for some days before the wedding. The making of the bridal wreath, the decoration of the tables for the wedding feast, the dressing of the bride, were among her special tasks. In the same way the senior groomsman (the best man) was the personal attendant of the husband.

For several years, brides have been selecting a bridesmaid dress designer and a fabric, then letting their bridesmaids choose the style that works best for their bodies. But the 2010 wedding trend takes idea further. Choose only a color, then let your bridesmaids find an off-the-rack dress of any designer that they like. Not only does this take some pressure off of you, but it also ensures that women are choosing a dress they like and they'll be likely to actually wear again. If you follow this trend, be sure to tell your bridesmaids how formal the dress should be – you don't want one bridesmaid wearing a casual sundress while another has on a beaded evening gown.

Maid/Matron of honor

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In the United Kingdom, the term "maid of honour" originally referred to the female attendant of a queen. The term bridesmaid is normally used for all bridal attendants in the UK. However, when the attendant is married, or is a mature woman, the term matron of honour is often used. The influence of American English has led to the chief bridesmaid sometimes being called the maid of honor.

In North America, a wedding party might include several bridesmaids, but the maid of honor is the title and position held by the bride's chief attendant, typically her closest friend or sister. In modern day weddings some brides opt to choose a long-time male friend or brother as their head attendant, using the title Best Man or man of honor.

The activities of the principal bridesmaid may be as many or as varied as she allows the bride to impose upon her. Her only required duty is to participate in the wedding ceremony. Typically, however, she is asked for help with the logistics of the wedding as an event, such as addressing invitations, and for her help as a friend, such as attending the bride as she shops for her wedding dress. Many brides expect a chief bridesmaid to arrange and pay for a bridal shower as well as the bachelorette party (US) or hen night (Australia and UK), although it is a social faux pas on the bride's part, since these parties are gifts rather than a right.

On the day of the wedding, her principal duty is to provide practical and emotional support. She might assist the bride with dressing and, if needed, help the bride manage her veil, a bouquet of flowers, a prayer book, or the train of her wedding dress during the day. In a double-ring wedding, the chief bridesmaid is often entrusted with the groom's wedding ring until it is needed during the ceremony. Many brides ask bridesmaids, if they are adults, to be legal witnesses who sign the marriage license after the ceremony. If there is a reception after the wedding, the maid of honor may be asked to offer a toast to the newlyweds.

groomsman

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A groomsman or usher is one of the male attendants to the bridegroom in a wedding ceremony. The term groomsman is more common in the United States, and usher is more common in the UK. Usually the bridegroom selects his closest friends and/or relatives to serve as a groomsmen, and it is considered an honor to be selected. From his groomsmen, the groom usually chooses one to serve as best man. The duties of the groomsmen are to help guests find their places before the ceremony and to participate in the wedding ceremony.

Additionally, the groom may request other kinds of assistance, such as planning celebratory events such as a bachelor party, also called Stag Night or Buck's Night; helping make the wedding pleasant for guests by talking with people who are alone or dancing with unpartnered guests or bridesmaids, if there is dancing at a wedding reception; or providing practical assistance with gifts, luggage, or unexpected complications. Groomsmen may also participate in local or regional traditions, such as decorating the newlywed couple's car.

For a wedding with many guests, the groom may also ask other male friends and relatives to act as ushers without otherwise participating in the wedding ceremony; their sole task is ushering guests to their seats before the ceremony. Ushers may also be hired for very large weddings.
In a military officer's wedding, the role of groomsmen is replaced by swordsmen of the sword honor guard. They are usually picked as close personal friends of the groom who have served with him. Their role includes forming the traditional saber arch for the married couple and guests to walk through.

Bridegroom-men and bridesmaids had formerly important duties. The men were called bride-knights, and represented a survival of the primitive days of marriage by capture, when a man called his friends in to assist to "lift" the bride.

Best man

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Three groomsmen stand to the right of the groom and three bridesmaids stand to the left of the bride in this wedding in Kampot, Cambodia.

Best man is the chief male assistant to the bridegroom at a wedding.

In North America and Europe, the groom extends this honour to someone who is close to him, generally either a brother or his closest male friend. When the groom wishes to give this honor to a woman, she may be termed the best woman or best person, or may still be referred to as the 'best man'. The bride's equivalent of the best man is the maid or matron of honour. A gender-neutral term is honor attendant.

While the best man's required duties are only those of a friend, in the context of an American/British white wedding, the best man will typically:

assist the groom on the wedding day,

keep the wedding rings safe until needed during the ceremony,

act as a legal witness to the marriage, and make a toast to the bride and groom at the reception.

In the past, the bachelor party was typically scheduled for a convenient evening during the week before the wedding. A type of farewell dinner, it was always hosted, and therefore organized and paid for, by the bridegroom. Common slang names for this event are bachelor party, stag do or bucks' night in different parts of the world. In many areas, this dinner is now most commonly organized by the best man, and the costs are shared by all of the participants.

The best man, or honor attendants in general, are not universal customs. Even in places where a best man is customary, the role may be quite different when compared to other areas or times.

In most modern, English-speaking countries, the best man is simply the groom's closest male friend. Some authors believe that the best man derives from ancient customs of marriage by kidnapping, or from defending the groom from would-be kidnappers.

At Eastern Orthodox weddings in Greece, the best man is often also the koumbaros or religious sponsor, and is traditionally the groom's godfather. The koumbaros (or koumbara, if a woman) is an honored participant who crowns the couple and participates in circling the altar three times. In some areas, this person also pays for all the wedding expenses.

In Ukraine a best man is responsible for guarding the bride during the wedding festivities. When he or the groom steps away, the bride gets "kidnapped" or has a shoe stolen. Then the groom or the best man must pay a ransom in exchange for returning the bride, usually by paying money (which is given to the bride) or by doing something embarrassing.

In Uganda a best man is expected to guide the newlyweds in the ways of marriage. This means that ideally a best man must be married, preferably to one wife and should be in position to give sound, tried and tested advice. A best man must be a confidant and be discreet about the details he shares with the new couple.

In Bhutan the best man presents himself at the wedding as a ceremonial guardian to both bride and groom. Thereafter he entertains the guests, sometimes for several hours.

Flower girl

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A flower girl is a participant in a wedding procession. Like ring bearers and page boys, flower girls are usually members of the bride's or groom's extended family, but may also be friends.

Typically, the flower girl walks in front of the bride during an entrance processional. She may spread flower petals on the floor before the bride or carry a bouquet of flowers or thornless roses. Once the processional is over, a young flower girl will sit down with her parents. If the ceremony will not be particularly long, an older child may prefer to quietly stand at the altar with the other honor attendants.

Because very young children are overwhelmed by the duties, and older girls may feel insulted by a "baby" role, the recommended age is between four and eight years of age,[20] or even older, if not offensive to the girl's feelings.

There may be more than one flower girl, particularly if the bride has several young relatives to honor. This practice is more common at British royal weddings, at elaborate weddings modeled after royal weddings, or at Victorian-themed weddings.

Historically, the clothing was provided by the families of the bride and groom, but most modern couples expect the parents of the flower girl to pay for her clothing and other expenses related to her participation.

Her male equivalent is the ringbearer or page boy. Often the ringbearer and the flower girl are made to look like a couple, and they may be dressed in miniature versions of the bride's and groom's clothes.

page boy

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A page boy is a young male attendant at a wedding or cotillion. This type of wedding attendant is less common than it used to be, but is still a way of including young relatives or the children of relatives and friends in a wedding. A page is often seen at British royal weddings. There may be many pages for effect at cotillions.

Traditionally, page boys carry the bride's train, especially if she is wearing a dress with a long train. Because of the difficulty of managing the train, page boys are generally no younger than age seven, with older boys being preferred for more complicated duties.

ring bearer

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In a formal wedding, the ring bearer is a special page who carries the wedding rings for the bridal party. This is almost always symbolic, with the ring bearer carrying a large white satin pillow on which imitation rings are sewn, while the real wedding bands are kept in the safekeeping of the best man. If the real rings are used, they are tacked on with thread to prevent their accidental loss.
The ringbearer as a separate role is a relatively modern innovation. In a white wedding ceremony, the best man carries the rings.

Ring bearers are often nephews or young brothers (although they can also be nieces or sisters) and are generally in the same age range as flower girls, which is to say that they are no younger than about 5 nor older than 10. If the couple have had children prior to marriage, their own child(ren) may serve as ring bearer.

Officiant / Celebrant

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Before i tell you what google says, in Eaglepoint, any of our pastors can conduct the ceremony but we are not licensed to do marriage signing.

In the United States, Canada and many other countries around the world, a celebrant is a person who performs religious or secular celebrancy services for weddings, funerals, child namings, coming of age ceremonies, and other rituals.

Some Celebrants are ordained clergy, while others are Officiants empowered by the Humanist Association of Canada (HAC), the American Humanist Association (AHA), or the Society for Humanistic Judaism. (SHJ). In Australia, where Celebrants are commonly hired, they may be certified by any one of a number of Celebrancy training programs, while in the UK, most belong to one of a number of Humanist organizations, including the British Humanist Association and the Humanist Society of Scotland.

Celebrants may perform alternative and nontraditional ceremonies in places, and under circumstances where mainstream religious clergy will not. Some Celebrants perform same-sex weddings and commitment ceremonies. Celebrants, also called Officiants, often perform ceremonies in parks, on beaches, on mountains, on boats, on hiking trails, in hotels, in banquet halls, in private homes, and many other places.

Laws in each state of the United States vary about who has the ability to perform wedding ceremonies, but Celebrants or Officiants are usually categorized as "clergy" and have the same rights and responsibilities as ordained clergy. In Canada and in the US States of Massachusetts and California, the only places in North America where same-sex marriages are legalized, Celebrants and Officiants perform many LGBT weddings.

In Scotland, since a June 2005 ruling by the Registrar General, humanist weddings are now legal, providing that they are conducted by an Authorized Celebrant of the Humanist Society of Scotland making Scotland one of only three countries in the world where this is the case. (The other two are the USA and Norway.)

Celebrants differ from Chaplains in that Celebrants serve the unaffiliated public at large, while Chaplains are usually employed by an institution such as a hospital or other health care facility, the military, etc.

In Australia, Celebrants have a slightly different role, as regulated by local and national laws. See Celebrant (Australia) for more information.

In the United States, Celebrants are professional ceremony officiants who believe in the power and effectiveness of ceremony and ritual to serve basic needs of society and the individual. They collaborate with their clients to create and perform personalized ceremonies that reflect the client’s beliefs, philosophy of life, and personality; not the Celebrant’s. See Celebrant (United States) for more information.

BRIDAL SHOWERS:

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Here are some tips :

Choose a date prior to the wedding.
Decide on whether it should be a surprise for the bride or otherwise.
Set a budget and determine who pays for what.
Make a guest list. Do ensure that those on the list are also to be invited to the wedding to avoid any awkwardness later.
Select a location. Some possible venues could be a home of one of the bridesmaids, a spa, a nice, quiet restaurant, a hotel suite etc.
Give invitees advanced notice to keep the day free.
Plan the event around a theme but keep it simple.
Keep track of gifts and the givers during the shower.

When participating in these celebrations, it is important to be mindful that :

Such parties should be fun, lighthearted but not crass.
As a lead up to such a milestone as marriage, these parties are a rite of passage as well and should therefore be meaningful.
Embarrassing the bride or groom should be frowned upon.
Do not hold hen or stag nights on the eve of the wedding – everyone including the bride and groom will never recover in time

The Loud Send Off

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Shoes, Honking Horns and the Loud Send Off

Shoes represented the transfer of property from the Father to the Groom.
The honking of horns of the tying of cans had it’s roots in the notion that loud noises would scare off evil spirits. Originally it was to protect the innocent young maiden when traveling. Ringing of bells or setting off firecrackers are still other ways of this tradition is still being carried out. The ringing of bells however is done more often as an announcement of the marriage than is a superstitious act to ward off evil spirits.

The Kiss

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The kiss was used to bind a legal agreement.
It originated with the Romans and was adopted much later by Christians.
It symbolizes a couples union and signifies the commitment they have made to one another.

Tossing of Bridal Bouquet

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The bride tosses her bouquet over her shoulder to the assembled unmarried women; the woman who catches it, superstition has it, will be the next to marry. In some social groups, the process is repeated for unmarried men with the groom tossing the bride's garter for the same purpose. These practices are falling into less favor in the 21st century.

Originally the bouquet was given by the bride to one of her friends for good luck or protection. It has come to signify the transfer of luck in marriage or luck in being the next to marry. It is tossed on the departure of the bride and groom at the end of the wedding celebration. It marks the transition from being a single woman to being part of couple. The woman who catches the bouquet will be the next to marry.

The first wedding bouquets carried were not of blossoms but of herbs. The aroma of the herbs were though to ward off evil spirits. Later meanings became associated with the meanings of the different herbs. Rosemary signified remembrance. Other herbs such as dill were included to evoke lust and were meant to be eaten by the bride. Flowers were added. Like the herbs each flower had a special meaning or significance. Here are a few flowers and their general meanings.

Today a bride will often choose the flowers for her bouquet based on the traditional meaning of the flower.

Throwing Rice

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To some culture, rice symbolizes, wealth and fertility.

Tossing rice, birdseed or confetti is used to wish the newly married couple a large harvest, abundance in life or many children.

Today many churches do not allow the throwing of these materials for safety or environmental reasons, as a result, a new tradition has emerged; blowing bubbles.

Although many see no harm in the bubbles, their are churches and reception facilities who do not allow this gesture as well. Please check to be sure beforehand.

Rice is sometimes thrown at the newlyweds as they leave the ceremony to symbolize fertility. Some individuals, churches or communities choose birdseed due to a false but widely believed myth that birds eating the rice will burst.

Guide to Chinese Wedding

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Below is a guide i found from 'somewhere'. The reason I post it here is so that you know where the tradition comes from and why it's being practiced. I'm not asking you to do everything that's said.

As a Christian, you glean what is your conviction to do since you know that you live in the will of a loving GOD and is not subject to the wiles and fear.

Chinese Wedding Customs and Rituals Before the Wedding

Proposal & Betrothal

In Chinese Culture, a marriage is considered the joining of two families. Thus the parents of the bride's and groom's get involved in their wedding planning from very early on. Two families pick an auspicious date as the Betrothal Day. This is a formal meeting between the parents of the perspective bride and groom.

The groom's family presents various proposal gifts that represents fertility and prosperity in Chinese culture, which is also known as "Grand Gift" or "Guo Da Li".

All gifts should come in even numbers, meaning "good things double" in Chinese culture. Thus, the two are considered officially engaged.

Chinese Wedding Cakes
After the betrothal meeting, both families will make wedding announcement to their relatives and friends by sending out "Double Happiness Cakes" along with wedding invitations. This is the Chinese style wedding cakes also known as "Dragon & Phoenix Cakes". These are baked cake with dragon and phoenix imprint on the surface. Some styles have fillings made of lotus seed paste, red bean paste or green bean paste.

The wedding cakes are usually presented to the bride's family by the groom's family as part of the proposal gift. Bride's family will then present some of the cakes to worship their ancestors and send the rest of cakes to friends and relatives along with wedding invitations. Quantity of cakes to be sent depends on seniority of guest or relationship with the family. Nowadays, the wedding cakes are usually served to the guests at the wedding instead of the western style wedding cakes.

Chinese Wedding Dowry
The bride's family then prepares dowry and give a list of the dowries to the groom's family. Dowry is mostly composed of daily necessities for the new home, such as bedding, linen and dining set, etc.

In the old Chinese culture, girls start learning needle work at young age, and prepare plenty of shoes, socks, table cloth etc, as part of her dowry. This is also an opportunity for the bride's family to display their love for their daughter as well as their wealth.

Bridal Bed Setting (An Chuang) Ritual.
A few days before the wedding, the bride's family send dowry to the groom's family, or the couple's new home nowadays. The groom's family will invite a respected female relative or friend to "set the bridal bed" at the new home.

In some part of China in the old days, a unmarried young boy will be invited to sleep in the bridal bed the night before the wedding to bring fertility to the newlyweds.

Chinese Wedding Decorations
The two families decorates the bridal house and the reception site for the upcoming wedding ceremony. Lots of lively colors, red in particular, is used in Chinese wedding decoration. Red banners used for wedding is called "happiness banners", which is an essential part of the wedding decorations. It's decorated on both sides of the doors of the newlywed's home and the reception site. The Chinese writing on the banners are rhythmic poem praising the adorable couple and the perfect marriage.

Papercut of Double Happiness, dragon and phoenix are widely used at Chinese wedding.

Wedding Day Ceremony
In the morning of the wedding day, "hair dressing" (Shang Tou) ritual is performed for the bride. A "good luck woman", woman with living parents, spouse and children, will come to help dressing up the bride's hair. The woman should also say auspicious words while tying up her hair in a bun, a style of married woman. The groom's family perform "capping" (Jia Guan) ritual for the groom at their home. These rituals in Chinese culture symbolize that they are entering adulthood.

Chinese Wedding Door Game
Then the groom sets out to the bride's home, and he will inevitably be blocked at her door by her friends, and the bridesmaids will play door game with the groom and his attendants.

Door game originated from ancient time which implies that the bride is a lovely girl and her family and friends do not want to marry her away. The groom will be blocked at the bride's door, and her friends will try to stop him from entering by asking questions about the bride, a way to test if he really cares about her. They may also do other tricks to delay the bride's leaving. The groom will try to buy his way in by presenting "Li Shi", token money wrapped in red envelops. Door game is a joyous and good-natured "bargain" game essential in Chinese wedding.

When the bride finally goes out to ascend the car, a bridesmaid will hold a red umbrella over her head, meaning "raise the bark, spread the leaves." Other relatives will scatter rice, red bean and green bean on her. The red umbrella protects the bride from evil spirit, and the rice and beans are to attract the attention of the gold chicken.

When the bridal sedan, equivalent of motorcade nowadays, arrives the groom's home, firecrackers and music with gongs and drums greets the bride. The bride will leap over a iron basin with lit charcoal inside. It is a ritual to bring prosperity and keep evils away.

Chinese Wedding Tea Ceremony
Then at the official ritual that equals to the wedding vow in western wedding, the newlyweds kneel three times, to the heaven and earth, to the ancestral tablets and their parents, then to each other. The kneeling part has been replaced with bowing in modern Chinese wedding. The bride then present tea to the parents and relatives in sequence of seniority. Those who receive the tea usually give the bride gifts such as jewelry or Li Shi money wrapped in red envelope. Thus it's the end of the ritual and the wedding proceeds to the banquet venue.

Chinese Wedding Food
Certain types of food are commonly served at the Chinese wedding banquet, which include fish, roast suckling pig, pigeon, chicken cooked with red oil, lobster and desert bun with lotus seeds stuffed inside.

The pronunciation of fish is the same as "abundance", meaning the newlyweds will have plentiful of wealth. Roast suckling pig is usually served whole, a symbol of the bride's purity (virginity). Pigeon implies peaceful future. Chicken also means phoenix, cooked in red oil to symbolize the wish for a prosperous life ahead for the newlyweds. Lobster is literally called "dragon shrimp" in Chinese. Having lobster and chicken together at wedding banquet indicates that the dragon and the phoenix are hormones together, and the Yin and Yang elements in this family is balanced.

Most oriental caterers can give you an idea of the menu.

Chinese Wedding Dress
The color red is considered good luck, a strong color that can drive away evil spirits. The traditional Chinese wedding dress in northern China usually is one-piece frock named Qi Pao, embroidered with elaborate gold and silver designs. Brides from southern China usually wear two-piece dress named Qun Gua, Kwa or Cheongsam, also elaborately adorned with golden phoenix and dragon.

In the old days, a piece of red veil is part of the bride's costume to cover her face during the wedding ceremony. Newlyweds would see each other's face for the first time in their lives at their wedding night.

In modern Chinese wedding, the bride changes dresses at least 3 times at the wedding day. She would start with western style white wedding gown for a church for civil ceremony. Then at the tea ceremony, she would change to traditional Chinese bridal dress, which she will wear to the reception too. Before the end of the banquet, she would change into a cocktail dress, and great the guests, and then see them off at the door, thus this dress is also called "Song Ke" (See Guests Off) dress.

Chinese Wedding Night Ritual
The night of the wedding, the bridal room will lit dragon and phoenix candle to drive away the evil spirit. This is a Chinese version of unity candle. The newlyweds will drink wine from two cups tied together with a red string, arms crossed from each other. This is the formal wedding vow in Chinese culture. Then the bride will be offered dumplings that's boiled half-raw. The pronunciation of "raw" is the same as giving birth to children, a indication of family prosperity.

Post-wedding Customs
The next morning of the wedding, the bride should get up early and make a meal for the groom's family to demonstrate that she is well-nurtured. Three days after the wedding, the groom and bride will go back to visit the bride's parents.

wedding favours

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Do you know where the ideas for favors at the wedding came from? I don't think anyone has pinpointed where they came from for sure, however, they have become common tradition at most weddings you see now days. Here are a few traditions that you might find fun and interesting:

Jordan almonds, a favorite at most weddings, are centered on Middle Eastern weddings. This favor dictates that you give 5 pieces to each guest to represent the five wedding wishes: fertility, health, wealth, happiness and longevity. The almond is candy coated representing the bitter and the sweet of marriage.
Decorated eggs are a symbol of fertility for the couple with this Malaysian tradition.
Glass charms in the shape of an eye were given on the couples wedding day in this Greek tradition to protect them from bad luck.
"Bridal Sugar" is a Dutch favor tradition. It is given in sets of 5 cubes to represent: prosperity, virility, happiness, loyalty and of course love!
In the Victorian Era, "party crackers" were very popular.

When considering the favors for your wedding, keep in mind that they should reflect you as a couple. These could be based on culture, religion, personality, or a mutual hobby.

Chinese Wedding Tea Ceremony

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Tea is used because it is China's national drink and serving it is a sign of respect. Using tea is practical because not everyone can drink alcohol. Lotus seeds and two red dates are used in the tea for two reasons.

First, the words "lotus" and "year," "seed" and "child," and "date" and "early," are homophones, i.e. they have the same sound but different meanings in Chinese.

Secondly, the ancient Chinese believed that putting these items in the tea would help the newlyweds produce children early in their marriage and every year, which would ensure many grandchildren for their parents. Also, the sweetness of the special tea is a wish for sweet relations between the bride and her new family.

On the wedding day, the bride serves tea (holding the teacup with both hands) to her parents at home before the groom arrives. She does this out of respect and to thank her parents for raising her. The tea at this time does not need to have the lotus seeds or dates, and the bride does not need the assistance of a "lucky woman." She pours and serves the tea by herself without the groom. Traditionally, after the wedding ceremony, the newlyweds serve tea (holding the teacups with both hands), inviting the groom's elders to drink tea by addressing them by formal title, e.g. first uncle or third aunt.

The general rule is to have the woman on the left side and the man on the right side. The people being served will sit in chairs, while the bride and groom kneel. For example, when the newlyweds serve tea to the groom's parents, the bride would kneel in front of her father-in-law, while the groom would kneels in front of his mother. The newlyweds serve tea in order, starting with the groom's parents then proceeding from the oldest family members to the youngest, e.g. the groom's parents, then his paternal grandparents, then his maternal grandparents, then his oldest uncles and aunts, and all the way to his older brother.

In return, the newlyweds receive lucky red envelopes ("lai see," which means "lucky") stuffed with money or jewelry.

Personally, i feel this is just a brilliant way for a new member to be introduced to the family and relatives because they will be intorduced formally during the tea ceremony! a definite stroke of brilliance for the chinese!

Honeymoons

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In ancient times, the Teutonic people began the practice of the honeymoon. Teutonic weddings were only held under the full moon. After the wedding, the bride and groom would drink honey wine for one full moon cycle (thirty days).

This "moon" (i.e., "month") became known as the "honey moon."

While the name survived, the purpose of the honeymoon changed. After the wedding, newlyweds would leave their family and friends to go and do what newlyweds are supposed to do.

Today that purpose survives, only now a vacation is incorporated, usually to a romantic get-away locale.

The White Wedding Dress

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In biblical days, blue (not white) represented purity, and the bride and groom would wear a blue band around the bottom of their wedding attire (hence "something blue").

The Greeks are often associated with white for the wedding dress - they used white robes to symbolize youth, joy and purity. Despite this, white wedding dresses have not always been the fashion.

In the Middle Ages the white wedding dress was once again made popular by Anne of Brittany, in 1499 -- they were again supposed to symbolize virginity.

Today, white is an ever-popular color but pastel shades, stronger colors and even tartars are also worn.

Veils

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The veil originally symbolized the bride's virginity, innocence, and modesty.

The veil can be traced back to Roman times when it was a complete head to toe cover (that was later used as her burial shroud!). This symbolism has been lost over the years but the veil is still customarily worn.

In some Middle Eastern and Asian cultures, the veil was worn to hide the bride's face completely from the groom who had never seen her. Only after they were married would the groom be allowed the lift the veil to see his new wife's face.

Giving away the bride:

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In old times, female children were deemed to be the property of their fathers. When it came time for the daughter to marry and her father approved of the arrangement, he was actually transferring ownership of his daughter to the groom.

Today, the act of giving the bride away is symbolic of her parents' blessing of the marriage to the chosen groom.

The Ring Finger

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For centuries the wedding or engagement ring has graced the second finger of the left hand.
This traditional goes all the way back to the time of the Egyptians.
They believed that a vein ran directly from the 2nd finger to the heart.

CEREMONY & RECEPTION & BANQUET Venue:

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Here are some aspects you need to think through when considering a venue:

Interest – places you’ve been a guest before or your have special preference
Accessibility with ample parking
Religious formality or just hotels will also do
Capacity to accommodate number of guests (how many tables?) Minimum requirements?
Restrictions guidelines at especially religious venues – attire, photography, videography, deco, music
Compare packages
Secure venue with a deposit.
If you are using the church as venue, do give a love gift to the church.

The Wedding Cake

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The Wedding Cake was originally lots of little wheat cakes that were broken over the Bride's head to bestow good luck and fertility.

Today's three tier Wedding Cake is based on the unusual shape of the spire of Saint Bride's Church in London.

Traditionally the newly-weds should make the first cut to signify sharing their life. Every guest than eats a crumb to ensure good luck. And sleeping with a piece under her pillow is said to make a single woman dream of her future husband.

SUGGESTED ORDER OF CEREMONY:

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1. Musical Introduction

2. Candle lighting (mothers lighting the candle)

3. Entrance of groom and best man

4. Bridal procession:
• Entrance of ring bearer
• Entrance of flower girls
• Entrance of bridesmaid
• Entrance of bride and father
• Handing over of bride to groom

5. Opening prayer

6. Praise & worship

7. Scripture Reading

8. Message by Officiant Pastor

9. Special presentation (if any)

10. Exchange of Vows

11. Marriage Registration

12. Candle lighting

13. Communion

14. Benediction / Prayer of blessing

15. Pronouncement & kiss

16. Recessional (in reverse order of the entrance)

17. Thank you speech

18. Photo session

19. Reception

Why need a WEDDING PLANNER?

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Many soon-to-be-wed couples have begun to appreciate the wedding planner as they realized that they will be relieved of a tremendous amount of stress and will be able to better enjoy the months of preparation leading up to that very special day.

An all-encompassing service basically covers the planning and coordinating process associated with the entire wedding, right from the onset through the wedding day. Other planners meanwhile also provide piece-meal services.

A couple for instance might only hire the wedding planner to see to the smooth-running of the day’s activities, therefore taking on the responsibilities of working with all suppliers and contractors prior to the wedding themselves.

However, the benefits of doing so are unquestionably worthwhile:

Decline of stress levels. Opportunity for you to relax and enjoy the process.
A more systematic and effective approach to event planning.
Coordination of service providers.
Handling of the nitty-gritty details. Prompting deadlines, look into quotations, follow up and check on progress with wedding vendors, relieving you of the many little tasks which otherwise you would have to take care of on your own.
Keeping track of schedules, timelines and budget.
A shoulder to cry on when necessary.
A better use of the limited time off work and can be more focused effort to oversee the entire event.
Opportunity to tap into the planners’ previous experience, ensuring that potential problems be nipped in the bud and avoided. No need to learn from your own mistakes. Learn from others’.

Perhaps one of the most important roles a wedding planner can play is that of mediator. When everyone from the immediate family members, parents in particular, want to have a say in the wedding preparations, things might be heated.

This is where a wedding planner can come to the rescue. An objective perspective, tact and the offer of a list of possible proposals and solutions will no doubt lead to an amicable compromise which every party involved will be happy with. In effect, they can be a source of comfort and a shoulder to cry on when the necessity arises.

Best of all is the assurance that on your wedding day, everything would be taken care of, in the safe hands of an experienced person.

You can just go with the flow and enjoy your big day!

Coordination for Eaglepoint church members:

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Consultation only – Free of charge
Just ceremony (approx 4 hours) - suggested love gifts of RM400
Just banquet (approx 4 hours) – suggested love gift of RM400

* coordination includes approximately 2 planning meetings, 1 rehearsal and 1 actual day.

Coordination to include:

PRE WEDDING DAY:

* Initial consultation with bride and groom

* Ongoing consultation and advice (e.g. on etiquette) as required

* Providing a budget form

* Providing a suggested checklist,

* Providing a suggested wedding vow

* Preparing the actual day schedule/timeline

* Assisting with selecting and booking an Officiant for the wedding

* Assisting with selecting and booking on worship team for the wedding

* Reviewing of vendors' contracts (but not dealing with vendors)

* Attending and overseeing the rehearsal (up to 2 hours)

* Instructing attendants about their duties

* Rehearsal direction and coordination

ACTUAL DAY:

* Directing the processionals, recessionals and receiving line

* Coordinating the collection of gifts received on the wedding day

* Wedding day coordination – up to 4 hours for ceremony only

* Ensure setting up of the venue (materials to be provided by bridal couple)

* Preparing communion bread & drink (table, kneeler, cup and platter not provided)

* Organizing, tracking and passing out thank you cards or gifts for event helpers after ceremony during the actual day

* Clearing up of materials, items and belongings after the ceremony

* Providing a stress-free day for the bride and groom

* services ends on the same day

Below are not included unless otherwise discussed/negotiated:

* Any design work or printing of wedding stationeries

* Any additional ceremony (i.e., tea ceremony, gift exchange ceremony and such)

* Assisting with selection and booking of ceremony and reception venues

* Assisting with selecting a color scheme, theme and style of the wedding

* Assisting with the design and arranging the printing of the invitations

* Assisting with selection of wedding attire and accessories

* Finding, negotiating with and booking suitable vendors (e.g. florist, photographer, videographer, musicians, caterer, etc.)

* Scheduling appointments with vendors for clients to meet with them (where necessary)

* Coordinating with vendors

* Providing information to obtain a marriage license

* Preparing itineraries, seating list

* Reception planning (up to 400 guests)

* Assisting with booking accommodations for out-of-town guests

Some final say,

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DO’S

You want to look your best for your wedding. Don’t resort to extreme measures to lose weight because you’ll just gain weight or injure your body. And may even render postponing the date due to hospitalization. Set a realistic weight loss goal (if need be) and exercise regularly. Get sufficient sleep.

Consider some of your parents suggestions, especially if they are contributing to the finances.

Break in your shoes prior to wedding day. Remove price tags from under the shoes.

Keep your composure during the planning process. If things get stressful, take time out for yourself

Remember to get a bite to eat from time to time during the wedding day

Accept that some things will not go according to plan on your wedding day but no one will notice, so just relax

Always smile as the cameras will be aiming at you

Make full use of table centerpieces at the end of the banquet by presenting them as a token of thanks to your team of helpers

Consider the advices of the wedding service providers. They speak more from experience and they do have your best interest at work

DON’TS

Do not exceed your budget, no matter how tempting

Never make major decisions without discussing with your fiancé/fiancée first

Do not procrastinate when it comes to appointing your service providers

Do not be late for appointments with your service providers

Do not squabble over tiny issues and disagreements; talk things over objectively

Never think you can handle everything – delegate!

Do not underestimate the importance of checklist. Keep them up-to-date and run through it periodically. To remind you of outstanding items to look into

Do not diet excessively but do watch what you eat
Do not over accessorize, sometimes less is more

Do not get stressed during the planning process – if you do get stressed easily, schedule exercise or spa time during the run-up to the wedding.

Do not hold hen or stag nights on the eve of the wedding - you will never recover in time
Do not arrive late on your wedding day

All said and read, on the day, just go with the flow and everything will fall into place, those pieces that didn’t make it will be fine as well.

SUGGESTED GUIDELINES FOR SPEECHES:

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Groom

Thank the guests for attending.
Thank the bride’s parents for allowing him to take their daughter’s hand in marriage
Give thanks to his own parents, for all the happy years together
Thank the bridal attendants and helpers
Thank everybody for the kind wishes, cards and lovely presents
Say some nice words about the bride (pass mic to her)

Bride – can follow with one that expresses her thanks and appreciation or similar to the groom’s.

Thank the guests for attending.
Thank the groom’s parents for raising a man for her
Give thanks to her own parents, for all the care and grooming of the years
Thank everybody for the kind wishes, cards and lovely presents

Father of the Bride & Groom

Thank the guests
Welcome the groom’s parents, relatives of both families and friends
Praise the bride’s appearance and relate about her family life
Welcome the bride/groom into the family
Give words of wisdom and good wishes to the couple
Propose a toast to the bride and groom

Best man –The best man’s speech is last. It should be funny, but it should not be an extension of the stag night and it will be better received by the family audience. He should:

Compliment the bride and groom and give good wishes for their future together
Thank the groom for asking you to be best man
Relate funny stories about the groom, nothing too rude and no mention of previous lady friends
Read out a few cards, probably from absent relatives or close friends
Propose a toast to the couple.

WEDDING REHEARSAL

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a. Schedule a wedding rehearsal day for the Holy Matrimony

b. A rehearsal should be held one week before the actual wedding, depending on the availability of the venue and the Officiating Minister and the bridal participants involved.

c. The Groom and Bride should have their March-in and March-out songs ready in time for the wedding rehearsal.

d. It is absolutely necessary for the soundman to be present in order to run the proper timing for the actual day.

e. People to be present at the wedding rehearsal:
• Groom and Bride
• Officiating Minister
• Wedding Coordinator
• Bride’ Father
• Bride & Groom’s Mothers (for candle lighting)
• Best man, Groomsmen
• Maid of Honor, Bridesmaid
• Flower-girls and Page-boy/Ring-bearer
• Soundman
• Master of Ceremony (optional)
• The actual day banquet/sales/technical staff of the venue to be present.

f. Things to bring for the wedding rehearsal:
• Basket and pillow for the procession
• Wedding vow
• order of ceremony with time

g. During rehearsal, start with a word of prayer, inviting God to be present, run through the timing and the processional walk, instructions on how to give away the bride and take note of the timing of the event.

Here are some questions to pose when meeting PHOTOGRAPHERS :

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• How long have they been in the wedding business?
• What is their unique selling point?
• How do they differentiate themselves stylistically?
• How many teams of photographers do they have?
• How many photographers are there per team?
• What is their price range?
• What is included in the package?
• Are there portfolios to view?
• Which team will they assign to cover your wedding?

Check out some of the shots or samples to consider the photographer’s eye for details, artistic diversity, capturing reactions or emotive shots of the crowd and of the bridal couple.

Some issues to consider when choosing WEDDING INVITATIONS include:

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Cost – taking into account the number of cards required, set a budget and stick to it. This will enable you to narrow down what is possible and what is beyond reach.

Print run – it is wise to print an overrun of between 15 to 20 percent. These additional cards may come in handy should you decide to increase your guest list. To do small volume reprints after the initial print run would be costly.

Lead time – better early than late. Certain times of the year require a longer lead time than others. Also, do make sure there is sufficient time allocated to write and mail the cards as well as for guests to respond.

Design – traditional, contemporary or quirky? A reproduction of an existing design may be less expensive as compared to a symbolize one.

Colour – is there an overall theme that should be adhered to? Discuss colours with your parents especially if they are traditional-minded and have objections against inauspicious colours.

Paper quality – although many feel that invitations may ultimately be discarded by recipients, it is still good to use paper of reasonable quality. After all, invites set the tone of your wedding at the onset. Stick to matte finish or non-shiny paper as they are easier to write on and the ink will not smudge.

Wording – being politically correct is important to ensure that all parties concerned are happy with the outcome i.e. the bride and groom and their parents.

When looking into the nitty-gritty of wedding stationery, do take note of the following:

It should reflect your excitement and enthusiasm as well as your personalities and stylistic preferences.
Talk to at least 3 stationers, view their range of cards and evaluate the services they offer.
As soon as you feel comfortable with a stationer, pay a deposit and get started. Do not procrastinate and do not leave yourself too little time.
Mail invites 2 months ahead whereas save-the-date cards can go out even earlier.
Decide on a theme which can be fashioned around one of the following – colour, monogram, graphics etc.
Calligraphy is sophisticated and elegant but be prepared to invest some additional funds for an expert to be responsible for the hand-written elements of your stationery set.

In our Asian society, the design of invitation cards can be an issue where conflicts may arise between the young couple and their parents. A cosmopolitan Chinese couple, educated abroad, may favour a design predominantly in white with silver lettering, much to the chagrin of their more traditional parents. The latter would certainly be more accustomed to one in red and gold, colours that symbolize prosperity, fortune and good luck.

Whatever the case may be, the solution perhaps is to compromise, so that all parties are happy with the end result.

After all, weddings are meant to be happy occasions, aren’t they?

The White Wedding

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White has been a symbol of celebration since Roman times.
In other cultures such as Asian cultures red is the color traditional color because it symbolizes joy.

White in our culture has also come to be synonymous with purity and joy. This is why it has become a favorite color of brides.

Tips For A White Wedding

Wear everything in the crispest, brightest white with irridescent jewels to add sparkle
Plan all the decorations in white, cream or ivory. Be very careful mixing shades of white. If one is darker than the rest it would appear dingy by comparison
Add large white bows to the reception decorations
Use white candles
Use silver accents as opposed to other metallics such as gold. Silver tends to compliment white much better without any harsh contrast.
Use low voltage clear twinkling lights on topiary trees, head table, wedding arch and ceiling fabric drapings.

SELECT MUSIC

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a. Choose your March-in and March-out songs for the Ceremony.
b. Choose the background music for the Holy Matrimony and Wedding Receptions.
c. The hotel/restaurant usually provides a March-in song for the dinner banquet.

Some ideas on ENTERTAINERS:

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Have a pianist entertain your guests during cocktail hour. The tinkling of ivory will provide a sophisticated atmosphere
Consider hiring a Latin jazz band to get your guests grooving on the dance floor
harpist or perhaps a Chinese orchestra provide a unique vibe
When guests RSVP, get them to include their favourite songs on the reply slip so that they can be included in the playlist

Check the on the following:

Credentials & track records – are wedding their specialty? How many have they performed?
Playlist – is there a playlist to choose from? Can learn new pieces or songs? Consider the age range of your guests if they will be perceptive to the playlist
Lyrics – ensure it’s appropriate for the occasion
Sets – how many sets and duration of each set.
Attire – they should be dressed appropriately to the formality of the event
Equipment – will they bring? Or assisted by venue? Additional charges?
License – ensure that all licensing requirements are adhered to

WEDDING FAVOURS

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Wedding favours usually is not the priorities. Whilst it is common practice nowadays for couples to give out favours as a token of thanks to their guests, the lack of funds can be a hindrance at times. Indeed, many leave it to the last minute to see if there is any remaining budget that can then be used for favours. That's why you set budget first so that it will not be a rush to get something when the wedding day draw closer...

Some pointers :

Identify these tokens early, even if you are not certain that you may have the necessary funds. By having a shortlist in hand, a quick decision can be made when the funds become available.
Having shortlisted the favours, pay a visit to the respective vendors. See the products up close and get a quote. Do also inquire about the lead time required for the favours to be produced.
To ensure there is minimal wastage, particularly if the favours are perishable, an accurate guest headcount is absolutely necessary.
Don't leave it too late especially if you have a large guest list.
Turn to close friends and relatives for help. An aunt who loves baking could possibly get some cookies done for you at a minimal cost.

What to consider?

Relevant products – items that are a reflection of weddings.
Flexibility – pre-designed items can be adapted to one’s requirements.
Customisation – possibility of designing an item from scratch.
Exclusivity – a certain level of exclusivity as you are able to provide input into the design of the favours.
Minimum buy – is there a minimum order quantity?
Copies – how many versions of the particular design are there?
Packaging – are they packed in a common box or can they be individually packaged?
Delivery – do they deliver or do you have to pick up? Request for the vendor to deliver rather than you having to collect.
Production – are they produced locally or sourced from abroad?
Lead time – how much time will they need to produce the favours?
Ask to see a sample before confirming your order.

Those who are more traditional in nature will often select favours that are symbolic of marriage. Wedding bells ringing in church announcing the union of man and wife is depicted in the form of a miniature wedding bell.

And chopsticks come in pairs, therefore reflecting the love, encouragement and support between two people very much in love.

Another novel idea would be to present every guest with a mini-version of the wedding cake as a memento of the special occasion.

You can either incorporate the favours into the table setting or have friends distribute the favours towards the end of the wedding banquet.

BRIDAL CAKES

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Traditionally, Chinese families often make it a point to announce the upcoming nuptials of their children to relatives and friends by distributing bridal cakes. In fact, it is the bride's family that makes such an announcement with the bridal cakes they received as part of the betrothal gifts from the groom's family. This is customary not only as a means to give notice to kin of the impending nuptials but also as an invitation to the wedding feast.

What is different however, is how the bridal cakes are now packaged. In keeping with modern times, they are now packaged with much style and aplomb. Not only are the contents important, emphasis is also placed on the way the cakes are presented. Indeed, couples are increasingly taking greater interest in such matters that were previously the domain of parents.

When deciding on bridal cakes, do take the following into account :

Make a list of relatives and friends who are to receive the cakes.
Order a small quantity as 'extras' in case some names have been left out of your original list.
Have a taste of what is on offer and select the ones that you personally enjoy.
Review the various packaging options and choose the one that best reflects your style preferences.
Be prepared to listen to the service provider's advice as well.

SOME POINTERS FOR GROOMS SUIT:

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The choices :

Purchase a suit off-the-rack from a department store or an international label boutique.
Have a suit made-to-measure at custom-tailors.

The advantages of made-to-measure :

Input from a professional custom-tailor or designer.
A variety of fabrics to choose from, catering to a range of budgets.
A better fit when compared to a suit bought 'off-the-peg'.
Exclusivity, as the suit is made specifically to your requirements rather than mass produced.

Some issues to take note of:

Browse men's magazines to have an idea of the latest trends and fabric choices.
Identify styles that catch your fancy.
Ask around for recommendations when deciding on which custom-tailors to visit.
A trendy design or a classic cut?
Take into consideration our weather conditions when selecting fabric.
Choose a design that complements your fiancées bridal gown, and the formality of your wedding.

When contemplating on which type of suit to select, the aim really, is to complement the bride’s wedding gown. A dark suit for the day, normally in black or dark grey is a lasting favourite. Paired with a crisp shirt either in white or ivory to complement the bride, as well as a coloured tie, the look is both classic and gentlemanly.

Those who are fashion savvy and who have the flair and verve even go as far as dressing in white. It makes a bold statement but not everyone can carry-off such a look.

Of course the piece de resistance in every man’s wardrobe would have to be the tuxedo. Suave, debonair and sophisticated – that’s a man in a tux. A pleated tuxedo shirt, a satin bow-tie and cufflinks add to the formality of this look.

SOME POINTERS FOR WEDDING GOWNS:

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The bride will need to consider a gown/dress/attire for registration day, bridal gown for wedding day and evening gown. Consider also the type of wedding you have in mind – garden party, beachside celebration, ballroom, traditional attide or themed wedding

Do some research by flipping through magazines and surfing the internet to identify design elements that you like, before visiting the shops. This will save you time as it allows you to 'zoom in' on the gowns that will fulfil some of your criteria.

Whether to go it alone or to bring a friend along is really a personal preference. Some like to be able to make the decision on their own while others fancy an extra pair of eyes. Some mothers or even grooms who would like to join in the discovery. Or you can even make it a day out with your bridal attendants to have girls fun together.

Have a budget in mind. No point having discussions with a high-end designer when you can't afford it. With a budget as a point of reference, you will be able to narrow down the options vis-à-vis bridal studios, specialty boutiques and designers.

Rent a ready-made gown with alterations done to fit her size. This could either be a brand new gown or one which has already been worn by others beforehand. But they usually won’t amend the length to your height.

• Have a gown custom-made to her size and design requirements on a rental basis i.e. the gown can be returned after the wedding. This would ensure that the gown is new.

Have a gown custom-made to her size and design requirements on a purchase basis i.e. there is no return option after the wedding. Again, this will be a brand new gown which will be a keepsake for the bride. Custom-made is risky if you are not sure if the end-product will come out as imagined.

Purchase a ready-made gown off-the-rack. This again could either be a new gown or one which has been worn before. But at the least you know how the end product would look like on you instead of hoping for the best!

Once you have made a selection, it is best to refrain from looking at other designs. Otherwise, you may end up making changes from time to time, creating a vicious cycle of a never-ending story.

There are suggestions on the kind of cut for the types of body shapes. Unless you are sure of it, I do suggest that you try a few types at least, just so that you can pick the best look you prefer instead of relying on theory. Since you are going to try many gowns anyway, why not take the opportunity as your own future references for future dresses or gowns.

Be careful to choose a gown that you can walk comfortable in length and volume. All eyes will be on you as you walk down the aisle and you do want to prevent unnaturalness in the walk or even tripping. Try practicing the walking with the actual shoes and gown at least a day before. It will be reflected in any video recording or photo capturing.

Too many cooks spoil the broth. This statement can apply two ways.

Firstly, asking for too many opinions will only make you all the more muddled. It’s your wedding and you have the final say to pick your dream gown - the one that makes you looks the best. Secondly, too many details on a gown will necessarily make the best gown. The gown is to bring out the bride prettily and not swallow her. Sometimes, less details is more focused on the bride.

Finally, 'It is never too early to search for that perfect wedding gown'. You might be surprised at the difficulty of picking the one.

SUGGESTED ORDER OF THE BANQUET:

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Arrival of guests.

Play pre-dinner background music.

Arrival of Bridal Party.

Opening prayer.

Short Exhortation.

Benediction.

Say Grace.

Serve Dinner

Change of gown after a few dishes.

Thank You speech.

Cake cutting ceremony.

Champagne Popping.

Propose toast

Continue with food / slideshow / video.

Table to Table (if want).

Thanking guests at exit (if want)

Thoughts on FLOWERS & FLORIST:

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At the very least, flowers take the form of the following at any wedding :

Bridal bouquet.
Groom's corsage.
Bridesmaids' posies.
Groomsmen's corsages.
Flower girl's basket.
Ring bearer's corsage
Corsages for the rest of the bridal party
Corsages for the immediate families.

Those fortunate enough to have larger budgets can consider the following as well :

Ceremony venue décor.
Banquet venue décor.
Table centrepieces.
Wedding car décor.

Here are a few issues to think over when considering floral themes :

Local blooms vs imported blooms.
Single floral type vs multiple varieties.
A dominant colour vs several colours.
Strong colours vs soft colours.
Flower-focus vs foliage-focus.

When meeting with floral designers, you should perhaps pose some of these questions :

What is their design philosophy?
Who from their team will be handling your wedding and if there are photos of his or her work to view?
Will the designer be dedicated to your event exclusively on your wedding day?
What flowers will they recommend vis-a-vis seasonality?
What are the latest trends in floral design?
Is delivery included in the charges or do you have to collect?
Have they done weddings at your ceremony and banquet venues?

Consider the following when searching for a floral designer that fits your bill :

Do some scouting around by asking friends for recommendations and keeping a lookout for floral arrangements in hotels, restaurants and the like, that catch your eye.
Visit shortlisted floral designers to get a sense of their style and price points.
Discuss how much you intend to spend and get an idea of what can be achieved with your budget.
Give the floral designer details of the concept of your wedding i.e. attire, venues etc. and then see if their vision meets yours.

Some things to think about:

Choosing flowers that are in season will be more cost effective.
Unusual and exotic blooms make a statement but will cost more.
Floral stands lining the aisle in the banquet venue are dramatic accents.
Fruit, pebbles, shells, candles; various items can be coordinated with flowers to create unique arrangements.

CHOOSING A WEDDING CAKE

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Taste: Ask for a cake tasting session with your caterer or baker to determine the flavor you want. When will the cake be baked? Your wedding cake should be as fresh as possible for your guests to enjoy.

Style: Cakes generally come in three main types— stacked tiers, separated tiers, or cupcakes.

Frosting: Fondant icing molds beautifully and withstands heat well but doesn’t have much taste. Butter cream frosting tastes great but doesn’t hold its shape or endure heat as well as fondant.

Cost: The more ornate the cake, the more it will cost. Cupcakes usually cost less than cakes.
The look - your cake should reflect the aesthetic of your wedding day. Should it be formal, cute or quirky?

Delivery: Make sure the baker is the one delivering and setting up the cake.

SELECT YOUR CATERER

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a. The caterer’s sample menus and specialties. If you require, do they provide vegetarian food and is it possible to arrange for a food tasting session?

b. The staff strength they are able to provide. Also decide if the setting will be buffet stations or table service.
• Buffet stations: Guests go to manned or unmanned stations where they serve themselves or are served.
• Table service: Servers bring food to the tables; the same meal is provided to everyone.

c. If they provide floral arrangements, a floral arch for the march-in, and decoration for the reception table.

d. If they provide champagne-pouring and cake-cutting services during the reception.

e. If the caterer provides a VIP table for the wedding couple and their parents during the reception. Serving for the main table. The bride and groom shouldn’t be queuing at the food line.

f. If the caterer provides tables and tablecloth for the reception (for guests to sign-in) and/or for solemnization. Liaise with them on your desired color theme.

g. Suggested amount of food to cater is 75-85% of your actual guest list.

h. Try to negotiate a best price for your wedding and don’t be shy about it.

i. Never hire a caterer without a written contract. Read the contract carefully and thoroughly (especially the fine print) before agreeing to it.

The Unity Candle

2009-09-18T01:00:00.000-07:00

The lighting of the unity candle symbolizes the merging of two lives into one.

In some ceremonies the lighting of the unity candle will also incorporate the families of the bride and groom. There it symbolizes the joining together of two families, as well as the union of the couple, in a marriage. It marks the transfer of commitment from their families to the new commitment in establishing their own family in their life together.

But in Eaglepoint, we will have the two mothers lighting the candles in the beginning of the ceremony signifying the giving of life by the mothers to the child and then after the exchange of vows, the bride and groom will take their own candle and light the candle in the middle signifying that from this forward, they are one and snuff out their individual candles.

The significance of this act is truly meaningful.

RECEPTION & BANQUET components to consider:

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Menu
Drink list
Choice of table linen
Décor on chairs
Ballroom décor
Backdrop design
Table centerpieces
Floral arrangements
Music & entertainment
Favors provided

Once the above is in place, start selecting the guests invited to sit at the main table:

Groom
Bride
Groom's Father
Groom's Mother
Bride's Father
Bride's Mother
Grandparents?
An aunt and uncle perhaps?

But you can always keep it to lesser than 10 pax at the main table to avoid controversy. No need to be legalistic about it.

SUGGESTED PHOTO TAKING ORDER:

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• Grooms’s immediate family
• Groom’s immediate family + relatives
• Groom’s + Bride’s immediate family
• Bride’s immediate family
• Bride’s immediate family + relatives
• Groom’s friends
• Bride’s friends
• Groom’s colleagues
• Bride’s colleagues
• church mates

BUDGET BALANCING:

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Beverage – serve fruit punch or soft drinks instead of wine and spirits, especially during cocktail. Additionally, can also limit alcoholic beverages during dinner to beer and wine or none at all.
Flowers – floral arrangements can be transported from ceremony venue to banquet and re-designed. Or use lesser fresh flowers, more on cloths and fake flowers or such.
Guest list – only invite close colleagues and your boss. Make it known to friends who are unattached that their single-invites are due to limited space and ask for their understanding. As for children, it is generally advisable to include only your nephews and nieces as having children running around or crying can be disruptive to the event.
Save on banquet by having lunch reception after the wedding ceremony in the morning. Can even save the hassle of changing of gown plus a half day event is definitely less tiring than a whole day event.
Church halls are usually cheaper in love gift than the hotels
Get simpler bridal packages
Include a nice phrase encouraging the gift of ang pau instead of ‘things’ at the wedding card

Avoid the following at all costs :

Getting into debt because of your wedding.
Comparing your wedding budget to those of your friends. Do what feels right for you and your partner.
Thinking ‘it’s just a little bit more’. But, it all adds up! If there is a need, then readjust the budget..
Wanting to throw a big party just for ‘face’. Suffering later will be a bigger price to pay.
Procrastinating during sample sales, promotion periods and the like. If you like the dress or feel the photography package is value-for-money, buy it and sign on the dotted line.
Wanting the best of everything. Sometimes, compromise and trade-offs are needed.

061208 : Kiran & Ivy

2009-09-17T07:57:00.000-07:00

Kiran & Ivy has already signed the papers months ago and finally decided have a marriage blessing ceremony and banquet. I was only helping to coordinate the ceremony at the hall but in this process made friends with this pair of lovebirds. Ivy recently gave birth to a super cute baby girl!

031009: Sam & Caryn

2009-09-17T07:45:00.000-07:00

One of the most beautiful wedding I've seen. The details that the bride and groom prepared were just astounding! Although I jumped in at the last minute because their previous wedding coordinator had to go on a trip at a last minute notice. But I was glad to be there to witness the beautiful wedding.

180911: Mark & Carolyn

2009-09-17T07:20:00.000-07:00

One Sunday, I received a call from Mark. He wanted to surprised his wife, Carolyn by throwing a surprise 20th Anniversary garden party at their house but he had no idea how to go from a seed thought into a full blown event. Just one week away from the actual day, he'd no choice but to throw away the surprise and just let Carolyn knows that he'd only booked the canopy and nothing else. Hence, the call to me. I jumped at the opportunity to be able to be part of the project and instantly started asking questions and came out with the invite first thing.

At the final possible moment, I roped in David to help me do the setup. After service on Sunday, we drove to KL to buy flowers and to my biggest shock, I found out that no flowers were delivered the day before and there was no lily for me! In the midst of the rain, we rain stall to stall to buy off what they have. After that, we went to collect the "wife" and "husband" biscuit from another shop before rushing back to Mark and Carolyn's house to start on the decor. Took us three hours to setup everything right down to the moment when guests started filing in.

Was too busy that I didnt get to take photos of the setup but here are some of it I took from other photographers. =)

For some reason, people actually liked this heart-shaped folded napkins. Which I brilliantly hid the fork and spoon in. Ironically, people do no use their plates but took another set from the buffet table...

Only the night before I got to see the whole setup and I see a LOT OF WHITE! Which was not supposed to be there. Hence I try to hide it with near-black and red napkins for table. If I have more time, I would have gone to buy red and black nettings to wrap the white cloths at the pillars but alas, time does not permit.

Mark came out with this brilliant idea to give "lou poh beng" or wife-cake as the gift for the guests. After researching, I found husband cake too! So we decided to packed the two pieces into packs for the guests.

110610: Victor & Sophia

2009-09-17T01:04:00.000-07:00

if you know him, Victor Voon, he got married last Friday with Sophia. They met in UK even though one's from KL and the other is from Sarawak. They got to know at the Malaysian Students Gathering in UK and now they are getting married. And the exciting news was that I was honored to be their wedding coordinator. Honestly, it was really stressful with the Tribute to Parents Day service plus lunch, but I was glad I didn't let them down and pulled through the wedding ceremony and dinner and all the in-betweens.

It was truly a beautiful wedding. When they exchange vows, I was teary eyes myself... the decoration was beautiful and the whole day was just one beautiful chapter of two lives committing to each other from this day forward. I was very happy for them.

The wedding was held at One World Hotel, Bandar Utama. Speaking from the coordinator's perspective of working with them, I've got to say that the banquet staffs were excellent with top-notch professionalism. They had drilling session before the banquet and you could have ask any of the waiters what's on the menu and they would be able to tell you what is the next dish and what is the ingredient as well. I was very impressed! They are definitely event people. I've worked with several hotels but this hotel really did impressed me with their working attitude. Excellent! =)

Instead of the typical backdrop, they actually printed this huge poster-backdrop! Another excellent point to the hotel!

12&13 1111: Eric & Bee

2008-09-30T06:12:00.000-07:00

Eric is actually Elaine Chia's brother and that's how we got connected! The couple actually resides in London but decided to come back to throw the banquet dinner for family and friends over this side of the planet. But first off, they invited about 30 friends to come with them for a typical Chinese style wedding...

So here we are, setting up the groom's house with all sorts of red color stuffs! I decided to put sweets at the table instead of flowers.

There MUST of course be the HUGE "Hei" right in front of the house!

Here's one of the decor assistant, David, hanging up lanterns.

This is how the caterer setup outside the house. erm... such a malaysian thingy.. cos I doubt they cook at the side of the road in UK! At their backyard maybe but not at the streets?! But I can tell you that roast lamb is yummilicious!

The cook happens to be a relative to the groom's side! And grabbed uncle (groom's father) for a drama-photo!

For the sake of their ang-moh friends, I've thought of the idea of a chinese prop corner for them to take photos but I guess it was not so well promoted and maybe they dare not touch it just in case it's part of the custom ritual props.

but fear not! Elaine and Gary came to the rescue! they started taking photos!

and so we grabbed the couple for some shots too.

me n wai foong (my other decor assistant) took the last few shots before we take down everything...

This was at the wedding dinner! I kinda like this shot.

Eric called this the SHRINE! This is where we set up their UK wedding photos for the Malaysian guests to catch a glimpse!

Shrine or not, photo first!